I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
