bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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