There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
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The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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