so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
