drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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