i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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