i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
