I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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