I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
