I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
