ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
