its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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