I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
