i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize