Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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