the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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