I think my vagina is haunted
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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