We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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