I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
