Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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