Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
