Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
