Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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