My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
