please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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