this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
