Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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