He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
