Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
