After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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