I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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