Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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