so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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