Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
