This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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