Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
