I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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