Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I CAN MOONWALK!
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
