You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
