I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
