And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
