were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
