i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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