even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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