I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
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Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
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Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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