i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
