did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
