Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
