I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
