Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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