Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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