I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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