she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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