i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
