I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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