Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
