I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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