You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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