shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
