***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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